21 posts tagged “germany”

Today I moved out of my apartment.  T'was a sad day for me, and since you've been following along on the sorting videos that Michelle and I have been posting about the sorting/packing process, I decided to do one last one to wrap it up.  The camera didn't focus when I started it, so it's blurry...but I wasn't about to do it again, so you'll have to live with it. :)

My last few posts on here have been the videos that I've taken during my days of sorting through all my stuff with my friend, Michelle.  A week from tomorrow, I will be having the yard sale of my life, and everything I own that I am not storing for sentimental reasons or taking with me to Germany will be displayed for all the world to see...and hopefully purchase.  So until next week at this time, I will be up to my neck in boxes and decisions about what is really valuable enough to me to keep.  It's been an interesting process--this sorting business.  The last time I sorted through all my "stuff", most of it was charred or covered in ash from the fire that swept through my little apartment while I was in Germany in August of '06.  As I sift through all my "stuff" again, two realizations come to mind. 

First of all, I wonder how much more "stuff" I'd have to go through if that fire hadn't happened!  Even two years ago, the Lord was already preparing me for this transition, and helping me to downsize in significant ways by essentially making some decisions for me about what needed to go and what I really didn't need.

Which leads me to the second realization.  When this process is over, I will hopefully have eliminated over two-thirds of all that I've accumulated over the years.  Granted, I'll be able to "re-stock" once I get over there, but for now, I will most likely be able to fit everything I own into a small SUV. :)  The realization that I've had is simply the fact that there is really nothing...nothing...in this world, save the relationships that we have with each other and especially with Christ, Himself, that is not expendable. 

Having said that, I will also say that that does not mean that going through all your stuff and getting rid of over two-thirds of it is an easy, emotionless task.  It is not.  In fact, in the past couple weeks of doing this I often find myself crying at the drop of a hat.  My little apartment, which I've had for the past 9 1/2 years, which has seen me in roughest of places, which has heard the birth of numerous songs, which has been a haven for me, which I love, and which has been destroyed and restored much like my life, will no longer be mine.  It will be simply a memory.  And I'm not ashamed to say that I'm grieving a bit through this process.  But with each tear that falls, comes the reminder...again...that it is worth it.  That Jesus is worth it.  That His calling on my life is real and I am committed to it.  The truth is, the price I pay--the loss of a cozy little apartment in "small-town-America" and two-thirds of my "junk"--is NOTHING compared to what thousands of our brothers and sisters give up in a day's time around the world for the sake of Christ and Truth.  My sacrifice is small in comparison. 

Well, the process of sorting through all my belongings in preparation for my move to Germany has begun!  On this side of it, it seems like such a daunting process, but it is a necessary one and so I have resolved to begin tackling it.
Today is Sorting Day One.  My friend, Michelle, who is as left brained as they come, is helping me go through EVERYTHING that I own and sort it into one of three catagories:  SELL, STORE, or PACK.

Here is Day One:

It's been a while since I've sat down...since I've stopped long enough...to write a post.  Sometimes it's easier to post videos about creativity or talk about broken cell phones than it is to, well, stop.  Just stop...and be honest.  So I'm stopping.  And I'm gonna try to be honest because I think I need to be right now. 

You know sometimes...ok, most times...I have this idea--a bird-brained idea, but an idea nonetheless--that because I'm in ministry, or because I've been called to go to Germany as a "missionary", or whatever, I've got to keep it all together, and maintain the façade that I've created, and not let on that anything is any different than it appears to the everyday observer.  However, the reality is that (and some of you may need to brace yourselves for this one) I do NOT have it all together.  You can lift your jaw off the floor now and continue reading.

The reality is that sometimes, I'm really afraid of this move to Germany.  Sometimes, I think I don't have what it takes.  Sometimes, I don't feel like I love God enough.  Sometimes, I'd rather hide in my apartment than face people, and sometimes, I do.  Sometimes, when I come home after a full day...week...month...of holiday festivities, as much as I love her, my cat just doesn't cut it for companionship.  Sometimes, I'm just lonely.  Sometimes, I think that maybe God picked the wrong person.

I'm ok with admitting these things.  I think I need to (even at the risk of people thinking, "WHAT?!  She doesn't have it all together?!  And she's going to be a missionary?!").  Truth is, I'm a broken and fallen human being living in a broken and fallen world, and sometimes, sometimes just admitting that brings more freedom and gives more room to breathe and move forward.  It keeps me connected to the reality that I am completely and utterly dependent on Him.  It reminds me that I don't have what it takes.  But He does, and that's why I need Him.

***This is a copy of my first newsletter that I'll be sending out.  In an earlier post, I was asked about my vision for ministry in Germany.  Hopefully, this letter will answer that question as well.  If anyone is interested in receiving this quarterly newletter by mail, just let me know.  I am planning on posting them here when I write them, so if you don't want it via snail mail, then you're really only missing out on the asthetics of it. :)

There were four of them huddled around a couple desks that had been pushed together.  Their eyes smiled and they looked eager to begin the conversation.  The rest of their peers had been divided into similar groups and these four young girls were the last to be assigned an English conversation partner.  As I walked toward them, their grins widened and they leaned forward in anticipation.  It’s one thing to study English from a book, but it’s another thing to be given the opportunity to practice what you’ve learned with a native speaker!  This was not my first time to begin such a conversation.  I had been taking trips to Germany and Eastern Europe for three years to visit schools, speak with the students and share my music.  Typically, at the beginning of the conversation, I’ll ask them to introduce themselves and tell me some of their favorite hobbies.  Then, perhaps, I’ll ask if they have any questions for me.  However, this particular conversation was not typical. 

As I took my seat, and before I even had a chance to ask for their names or introduce myself, one of them immediately asked, “Do you go to church?”  I was taken off-guard a little, but eager to converse with them, so I responded with “Yes, I do”.  Then she asked me to describe what it was like.   So we talked about church.  She attended the State Church; the others didn’t go to church at all.  We discussed the difference between the State church and the “Free” church.  Then came a statement from one of them that became the turning point for my whole trip.  “I think that because we are so young, it is impossible for us to know if there even is a God.”  It is true that they are young.  And it’s true that if they’ve been raised in families that don’t believe in God, or attend churches that don’t teach the truth about God, they would have fewer opportunities to know Him.  But it is not “impossible”.  He makes Himself known in the most unexpected ways…even through a simple conversation in English class.  As I sat there in the middle of this classroom in former East Germany, and told these young girls that there is a God who deeply loves them and created them with the intent purpose of having a relationship with them through Jesus Christ, I was humbled by the fact that God chose me to be the one to tell them.

Ever since my first trip to Hungary in 2005, I’ve been asking the Lord if this was where He was calling me. I’ve also been actively stepping forward, believing that if it is not, He will make it clear and close the door.  So far, the doors for me to move to Germany and begin a ministry through music and English conversation groups have remained wide open, and He continues to confirm that this is indeed the direction I should go.  I’ve had people ask me many different questions about what my next steps are, so I’ll try to answer a couple of them here and hopefully give you a better picture of what’s ahead for me.

“What exactly will you be doing there?”
There are two main tools that the Lord has placed in my hands for this ministry: English and music.  My desire is to start English conversation groups for the school students with the purpose of building relationships with them that will introduce them to Christ.  Although I will be living in Germany and focusing on ministry in that area, there are opportunities for this type of ministry throughout Eastern Europe.  So I also plan to lead short-term teams into those places to engage in conversation with the students and teachers, give concerts, and support the local ministries.

“Will you be going alone or with a team?”
Although I will be traveling to Germany alone, I will not be alone in this endeavor.  In fact, I will actually be a part of a couple different teams of people.  This summer, I joined Fellowship International Mission (FIM), and will be partnering with FIM missionaries, Craig & Debbie Borgard, who I’ve had the privilege of working alongside on previous trips.  Craig and Debbie have been living and working in Germany for the past 6 years, and I look forward to working with them in the years to come.  However, this will not be the only team with whom I am partnering.  In the next several months before I leave, my main responsibility will be to assemble those people whom God has called to support me in this ministry financially and in prayer.  My target date to leave for Germany is May 1st, but before I am able to go, 100% of my financial support must be raised, as well as a team of 100 people willing to pray daily for me in the work of introducing young adults in Eastern Europe to the relationship with Christ for which they were created.

Young adults in Germany and Eastern Europe are asking questions about God and life.  I’m willing to go and offer them some answers, and I’m excited about the team of people that God is raising up to be a part of this exciting ministry with me.  Will you pray about whether the Lord might be calling you? 

Because of His grace,

Mindy

This post is LOOOOONG overdue, and for that I apologize!  For all you know, in regards to my last post, I could be still waiting to hear from the "Big Dogs" about whether or not I was accepted as an official appointee with FIM!  Well, you can stop drumming your fingers on the desk now...I will put your minds at ease and let you know that my meeting with the Board of Directors went very well and I am pleased to announce that I have been officially accepted as a missionary appointee to Germany and Eastern Europe with FIM! 

The whole experience at Candidate Orientation was a very good one for me.  For starters, it was great to be able to go through the week with Craig and Debbie (my new teammates!) :)  They've been in ministry in Germany for the past 6 years and were the ones who initially began "twisting my arm" about moving to Germany and joining them.  Last year, they switched mission agencies and were thus required to attend this year's Orientation.  It just so happened that the Lord's timing in calling me to this ministry and His timing in opening the doors for them to join FIM allowed for us to attend the Orientation at the same time!  What a blessing that was...not to mention more fun than we probably should have been allowed to have! :)  I am so thankful for Craig and Debbie and the relationship that we have.  One of my biggest concerns in the past about "being a missionary" was having to be on a team.  I have to say that in this case, I'm excited to be a part of this team!

 

Several months ago--March to be exact--I was in Germany.  It was one of four trips that I've taken there in the past three years.  Right before I came home from that trip I posted this blog about what God had been doing in my life and the ways that He was leading me.  Since then, my plans to move to Germany have been in the back of my mind, but I haven't really been able to focus on them as I've had a ton of other commitments over the past few months that have sort of taken precedence.  I've been taking tiny steps toward Germany when I've been able (i.e. filling out the application for FIM and interviewing with the staff), but I feel like I haven't been able to really invest a whole lot of emotional/mental energy into the process...until now.

It's interesting--I've experienced a shift take place internally over the past two weeks since the Exodus conference.  Germany has been on my mind a lot more, and when I think about it, my excitement to return and be a part of that ministry has increased.  It's a good thing this "shift" is taking place now because this morning I leave for a week of intense meetings and seminars at the Candidate Orientation for FIM.  I'm both excited and nervous about this week.  According to the schedule that I received in the mail, it's a jam-packed week with what appears to be very little down-time and few opportunities for solitude--which, to this melancholic, intorverted, creative-type, means certain doom.  In fact, I just might implode by Wednesday.  At the same time, I'm excited to spend this week gathering the information and tools needed for this next step.  I'm also excited about the fact that Craig and Debbie (my--hopefully--future teammates in Germany) will be attending the Orientation also.  I have no doubt that this week will be instrumental in team building for us as well and I'm thankful that the Lord had it in His plan to have us all there at the same time.

I will try to keep you posted as the week progresses, but like I said, it's going to be pretty full, so don't get your hopes up either...just in case it doesn't happen. :)  Thank you all, in advance, for your prayers for me as I move forward in this.  It is by faith that I move.

Wer sein Leben findet, der wird's verlieren; und wer sein Leben verliert um meinetwillen, der wird's finden.  Matthäus 10,39.

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
Matthew 10:39

Oh man, how many times have I heard this Scripture?  How many times have I read it?  How many times have I heard it used in a message about missions?  Did you know this was one of the very first verses that I remember reading for myself as a teenager, and having the Holy Spirit "pound" me with its meaning?  And now here as an adult I am finding myself reading it again, and again being blown away by what it means for me personally.

When I was fifteen, I took my first trip overseas with my mom to the Philippines to visit friends who are missionaries in the southern part of the country.  I came away from that trip determined to one day be a missionary in that place and at the ripe ol' age of 15 knew exactly what the rest of my life looked like!  I visited again two years later and after high school went on to study Missions and Bible Teaching at Columbia International University in South Carolina.  When I graduated from there, I joined a mission agency and began making plans and raising support to move to a small remote island in the Southern Philippines that is surrounded by pirates to work with an unreached people group called the Sama people.  Knowing what I know now about myself, I am able to see why the Lord redirected me from this and kept me home.  It was during this time though, as I was trying to involve myself in ministry singing and working with the youth group at church, that I got lost in a secret life of sin that led me far away from the Lord and far away from His plans for my life.  At the same time, I firmly believe that He used this dark time in my life to as part of His plan, and now is constantly recycling it for His glory and Kingdom.

Two years ago, I went to Hungary with a group from my church, and it was my first trip overseas since I came back to the Lord.  It was a powerful trip for me, and since then, I've had the opportunity to make several more trips to Hungary, as well as here to Germany.  Each time, the Lord continues to show me ways in which the gifts that He has given me fit perfectly into the work that is taking place in these and other countries.  And I'm thankful that He has shown me that my ministry here goes beyond my ability to sing and play guitar.  I am aware that that gift is not a given, but rather one of the avenues that He uses to connect people to Himself.  In the end, though, that's the main objective, isn't it?  Providing avenues that connect people with God.  Whether it is a concert, or an English group, or a conversation over coffee, or a work team to Hungary, it's about finding avenues for people to connect with God.

So, that's what I want to do.  And as I have spent time thinking and praying and talking with Craig and Debbie, I believe that this is place that He is calling me to.  That's crazy isn't it?  Yet for me, so incredibly exciting!  Exciting to see how He has brought me full circle in missions, and exciting to see how He has provided a place that so perfectly fits with the gifts and abilities that He has given me.  However, this is not the first time that I have thought this.  Each time I've been here, I've come away with the sense that this is what God has planned for me, but I get home and get caught up in my life, music and busy-ness there and get side-tracked from what I believe I should be doing.   So, before I have the chance to get side-tracked, I've contacted the mission agency in the states that Craig and Debbie are with, FIM, and spoke to them about the possibility of joining their mission so that I can get back here and be a part of the ministry here.  I need this kind of accountability, or I will drag my feet and never get anything done.

Thinking about actually moving here to Germany, leaves me incredibly excited and terribly afraid at the same time.  The absolute most difficult part about moving so far away is not getting to watch my nephews (and soon-to-be neice) grow up.  I hate thinking about this.  When I do, it is impossible to keep the tears from flowing.  It seems almost unbearable to imagine not being there for them.  And yet I know that it is not a reason to stay behind.  As I was thinking about all this a couple weeks ago, the Lord was tender in reminding me that even though I will not be around to see my nephews grow, there will be "spiritual children" that I will be able to see grow up in the Lord and THAT is eternal.   But what sacrifice is too great?  None.  There is nothing that I could possibly give that would out-give what He has given to me.  Nothing.  And what's interesting, is that as I'm writing this blog I got a text message from a friend that simply says "...we must let go of stuff to b free to hold on with both hands."

Tomorrow morning, I will wake up, eat breakfast and board a plane for home.  I have mixed emotions.  At the end of my journey tomorrow awaits my family, but left behind here in Germany will be a life that I have found and of which I long to be a part.  Thank you all for your prayers for me on this trip.  They have been heard and answered, and I am just without words to express how grateful I am that you have been such a vital part of the ministry that God has given to me.  Thank you for partnering with me and supporting me in such a significant and meaningful way.  If you are interested in continuing in this "partnership", I humbly ask for your prayers for me through the next several months of planning and decision making for my return full-time.  I will be sharing more about this in the months to come, so feel free to check back here anytime. 

Thank you again and may you be blessed 100-fold for all that you have given.